Phuket is to Paradise as Delhi is to Whatever the Opposite of Paradise Is...

Ahhhh...Phuket
Now, our celebrity faithful may
find Phuket a tad pedestrian, but for the Turners, Phuket was paradise. Crystal clear waters...water the color God intended - greens, blues, purples, all in various shades. The sand...the sand was like silk, grainy silk. Our stretch of beach was quiet and peaceful, with only the occasional European disrupting our zen by attempting to stretch inches of fabric over several miles of body.
And the beaches were clean...free of trash and medical waste...absent were the fears that one might contract a rare contagion while swimming. Phuket was a reminder that there are still parts of the planet people care about and those places make you want to put more effort into caring. In Delhi, by stark contrast, one might think littering a national pasttime.

We basked and baked (Well, I did, the first day...always on the first day because I'm always so eager!). We lounged and drank from coconuts, sweet, sweet coconuts ("You put 'da lime in 'da co-co-nut.."). We built sand castles...er, mounds, and molded sea turtles and seahorses, which half-naked Europeans clumsily stumbled over, apparently finding it difficult to see over their baguette-bellies or strudel-stomachs or tiramisu tummies. We re-re-introduced the kids to the ocean. A few more trips oughta do it...our kids, maybe all kids, have an innate fear of waves. I suppose I can understand why, especially after explaining the "Beware of Tsunami" signs posted throughout Karon and Patong beaches. Our beach time was a reprieve, an opportunity to find center and a reminder that one is never too old to chafe.
We didn't spend all of our time at the beach, of course. After all, we were in Thailand. We ventured out, took in the sights, enjoyed a safari and ate as much Pad Thai as we could bare. The big, white marble Buddha you see above was appropriately named "Big Buddha." Atop the mountain sat Buddha and at his feet was a Buddhist temple and visiting the temple were more scantily-clad Europeans (that seemed a theme). I'm certainly no prude...I mean trust me, I'm not. But really? Really?!? Buddha may not be your (lookin' at you, Europeans!) religious icon, but show him a little respect! Put some clothes on!

At the base of the same mountain was the Siam Safari. This was a great opportunity for us to ride carts pulled by water buffalo, watch "Workin'-monkeys" ply their trade (which was to climb palm trees and collect coconuts...perverts), ride elephants through the rain forest, watch elephants play soccer, watch elephants paint and dance to trance music (but not at the same time), watch elephants solve for 'x' (kidding), watch humans cook Thai cuisine with fresh, picked-from-the-forest ingredients, watch more humans split and "harvest" coconuts, and watch different humans tap rubber trees for...well, rubber. Olivia commented "They make alot of rubbers in Thailand..." Yes, they sure do...and use even more.

Our safari concluded with an incredible lunch-cruise into the bay on an authentic junk. Though spelled like "junk," the boat was far from it, and the food was fantastic. We motored past small, densely forested islets, houseboats lashed together and drifting on the tides and watched as the day's storm rolled in from the ocean (it stormed once a day and the storms were amazing and beautiful).

Speaking of storms...I nearly bore the wrath of Tropical Storm Julie (pictured to the right)...I was trying to snap a picture of my demure, soft-spoken wife, but she had to yell at me for leaving the kids at the stern (some Brits were lookin' after em', geez). Speaking of those Brits...the ride back to the safari's "base" became momentarily awkard after Julie walked me right into commenting on the Brits' former imperialistic tendencies. Unfortunately, I was speaking rather loudly (as Turners tend to do), and all but sabotaged a free trip to jolly ole England, as Olivia and Beatrice (just guessing at the little girl's name) were making quick friends. Dammit!

Alise enjoyed her first post-womb vacation. Like her parents, unlike her siblings, she really took to the ocean (technically the Sea...Arghhh, I prefers me the sea, I do!). Alise is pictured here (to the right) fresh from a bath, looking pensive...wondering why her daddy is such a jackass. That's what Julie told me she was thinking...who am I to argue?

Our hotel (resort, actually...La-tee-daa!) was amazing...the food, the pools (which the kids considered the better water-play option), the spa and the room (free upgrade!) - all of it was incredible.

One of the best things about life in Delhi is the access it provides to places like Phuket...journeys to paradise or the closest thing to a paradise I've ever experienced. In the end, one thing I've realized...while the developed world has many, many (add as many "manys" as you feel appropriate) faults, Starbucks and hamburgers are the occasional "must-have." Thailand was two for two. Delhi's batting zero.

Alas, as I can't in good conscience speak ill of my new "home," Delhi is also a wonder...like, I wonder why so many people walk into traffic and urinate on the side of the road and lie and I wonder why it's so damn hot here and so on...but also, I wonder how so many Indians can be so quick to smile and so sincerely gracious. Delhi is a city of contradictions...I think I've said that before. It is equally and simultaneously frustrating and exhilirating...Delhi kicks you in the nuts and then brings you ice.

Allow me to get to my point (about time?)...places like Phuket facilitate finding center, enable one to quickly find peace. Delhi makes you work for it, makes you search for it...for instance, today we spent our time at the market and the nursery and finally at the pool. The kids were occasionally unbearable (100 degree heat will do that), but as I walked holding Eli's hand and Olivia's hand, with Julie and Alise at my side...I found center...lost it...found it...lost it again...and then, just as the kids drifted off to sleep, found it again. It might have been easier to track down serenity in Phuket, but sometimes the effort required in Delhi makes the moment that much sweeter. Then again, I'm a jackass...what do I know?

Delhi...OUT!!!