We'reeeee Baaaaaaaack...

I know it's been awhile, a long while...and we have our reasons. My reason was that Julie was supposed to write the next entry and Julie's reason was that I was supposed to write the next entry. Some words were spoken, there were a few tense moments, then a long stalemate...and in the end, as usual, I've lost.

Wow, what have we been up to since September 15th? Shortly after our last entry, the Turners traveled to Seoul, South Korea (not Seoul, Idaho). Julie was there on business and I tagged along with the brood as "Mr. Mom." It was a great opportunity to introduce our "halfies" to their mother's birthplace...we toured Seoul, visited a few palaces, shopped until we ran out of Won and ate until we ran out of belly. The kids, like their mother, have an affinity for Korean street food...the sweets and the spicy rice cakes. Hell, who am I kidding, I could eat the stuff all day, too. We were able to visit the orphanage from which Julie was adopted...the kids were able to see where Julie spent her very early days. We met with a representative of the orphanage, reviewed Julie's old file...it was really neat to think of all the possibilities, how many different ways Julie's life could have gone and yet there we were, Julie with three children of her own. It was a great trip back...the kids are anxious to return, something we may get to do again in February.

Let's see...when we returned from Seoul it was the usual...work, school, life, dust, some heat and the ever-present smell of Delhi. We endured that for just a couple weeks before setting out on a true vacation. The Turners flew to Barcelona (great city) and then shipped out for a 7-day western Mediterranean cruise. Our first cruise and it was SUH-WEEEEEEEEEET! We visited Malta, Naples, Rome, Florence and Cannes....well, that's where our ship went anyways. We only spent about an hour in Naples...most of that day was spent touring the ruins at Pompei (incredible), eating Neopolitan pizza and shopping along the promenade in Sorrento (amazing). We optioned out of the long trip into Rome from the port...it was a chilly, rainy day in Italy, so we remained aboard. The next day, however, we rented a kick-ass Peugeot (seriously, it was awesome) and drove through the Tuscan countryside (I want to buy a vineyard and a villa). We visited the city and commune of Lucca, with its beautiful Renaissance architecture...that bored the kids silly. It was raining (again), so we hopped back into the car and drove to Pisa...Eli was very excited about this site, after all the Little Einsteins had been to Pisa. The leaning tower was, in fact, leaning...we tried to take a picture of Julie holding it up, but so was every other tourist and we just didn't have the time. We ate pizza...again and it was amazing...again. Gelato and pizza...when we were in Italy, that's what we ate...because when you're in Italy that's what you should eat and you should eat plenty of it. Gelato followed, and occasionally preceded, most meals. D-A-M-N good...divine even. We wrapped up the cruise in Cannes, France...which was fancy and the French weren't nearly as rude as I expected. Honestly, we found the Italians less hospitable...of course, the Italians still get points for not surrendering to every little puff of wind that comes along. The vacation was fantastic...it wasn't long enough, but they never are. We're convinced however and cruises will now be added to the Turner family vacation repertoire.

We've been back in Delhi for some time now...work, school, dust, but thankfully no more heat. It's cooling off for "winter." Not exactly the winters I'm accustomed to nor the winter I'd prefer, but this is India and this is what we get. Of course, now that it's cooled off, people are burning dung to stay warm at night, so we wake most mornings to a fog of stench...that one unfortunately gets used to. Julie and I donned formal attire not long ago for the 2009 Marine Corps Ball...I had a tuxedo made and Julie a formal dress. Julie looked beautiful...I was merely presentable. I felt like James Bond...didn't quite look like him.

Alise is walking now...nearly running, at times. She's developing a personality all of her own...very similar to Eli and Olivia, but then also very different. She's constantly smiling (except when she's not) and her giggle is infectious. Eli is the epitomal 3-year-old boy...he's energy and imagination incarnate. He's getting so big...thinning out and growing up. He's writing his own name and counting as high as he feels like counting. Olivia is reading like a champ and churning out mathematical computations as if she were pre-disposed to do so (oh, wait). She recently finished yet another season of ballet and has wowed me with her beauty and her abilities.

We're ready for Christmas...our tree is up, our Christmas songs are downloaded from iTunes and Julie is treating everyone to a new batch of delicacies thrice a week. We miss our families and friends dearly and wish that we could spend the season stateside, with the chill in the air, the snow falling and a warming fire. I won't lie...I probably won't post again until after the new year, so...Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! We love and miss you all!!

Delhi...OUT!!!

Kingfisher, the King of Beers and Airlines...

In the past three weeks, I have flown on too many prop airplanes into too many Himalayan valleys to truly be comfortable... I was told the pilots were among an elite group of pilots specially trained to land small aircraft along too-short runways while battling unpredictable and ever-fluctuating environmental conditions. This is "half-full/half-empty" information...while some might hear "there's a damn fine pilot flying this plane," others might hear "if your 'elite' pilot has a bad day, your screwed." And the airline running these "once-a-day" flights? Kingfisher...the same company that brews and bottles India's premier beer, also Kingfisher. Did I mention they were prop planes?

A few weeks back I assisted an ongoing investigation into the disappearance of a missing American in the famed "Valley of Shadows"...Parvati Valley, in the state of Himachal Pradesh. The valley was pristine, the air was clean...the area could very easily be mistaken for any other mountainous region in the world. It was beautiful...and apparently very dangerous. The route the missing American trekked (supposedly) was treacherous at best... I had never pushed myself as hard as I did hiking those foothills...nine hours of trekking, two and a half of that uphill and the last two hours downhill. After all of the uphill, you might think the downhill was sweet relief...and you'd be wrong. Unfortunately the missing American has yet to be located...

Shortly after returning from the valley, I pushed off for a couple of days training in Bangkok... While I was tired of being away from home, it was two solid days of Burger King and Starbucks...seriously, every meal, Burger King...and Starbucks. It was nice being in the "First World" again, but difficult to truly enjoy without Julie and the kids. One can only see so many Buddhas solo before finally wandering back to a lonely hotel room to watch HBO (B-movies of the 90's are the forte of programmers in Southeast Asia).

After Bangkok, I was back in Delhi for a whole week before again flying north to Himachal Pradesh on assignment. Kingfisher, the King of Beers...err, Airlines. I flew into Kangra Valley this time... (An aside: A couple of years back Olivia asked what it was that I did...I tried to explain in terms that she might understand, so I said "Daddy takes old people to meet with other old people so that they can talk about old people stuff." To this day, Olivia still asks before I leave on a trip..."Daddy, are you going to take an old person to meet with another old person so that they can talk about old person stuff?") Well...before Kangra Valley she asked me that same question and I answered "Yes." I traveled to Kangra Valley to help some people look after some other people so that those people could meet with an old and very wise and very frickin' cool person...it was all-in-all very awesome.

Throughout all of this travel, Julie, my incredible wife, was holding down the Turner Family Fort in Delhi...she was ushering Olivia and Eli to and from school, Olivia to and from ballet, Eli and Olivia to and from play-dates and was carrying Alise most of the time. I cannot thank Julie enough for her support and patience...this next week however I will return the favor. Julie will travel to Seoul for work and we will join her....the kids will see the land from which their mother was wrought and I will be their tour guide. I will be Mr. Mom and I can't wait...late mornings (0830 hours or later, fingers crossed), hotel pool, Lotte World, the zoo, Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts...and you know what, I'm pretty sure we can get hamburgers in Seoul. It's going to be pretty sweet... Even better, actual travel lanes...drivers will stay in their lanes. Oh, and trash receptacles, that people use to throw trash in...and the complete and total absence of public urination. And, again...hamburgers.

All is well here in New Delhi...the kids are enjoying school, making friends...Olivia was recently complimented by Fernando himself, the owner of Fernando Ballet Company...Olivia has "mad skillz." Eli is learning how to swim and has his alphabet down-pat. Alise has four teeth now, she giggles uncontrollably at the slightest provocation and babbles incessantly...it's all so beautiful. Julie is training for the New Delhi Half-Marathon, baking legendary cakes and breakfast dishes, mothering and working...so yes, if you're wondering, she's still incredible and makes far too many things look much too easy.

If you're looking for gift ideas for The Turners...Mr. Clean Magic Erasers...seriously.

Delhi...OUT!!!

A TOAST!

Today, Saturday, August 22nd, 2009, our dear friends Liz and Chris will be wed in holy matrimony.

A toast to the happy couple and a wish that their days and years be filled with joy, absent of tears and that they find in each other exactly what they need.

Even if you don't know Liz and Chris, raise a glass today in their honor...they deserve it.

We're 10.5 hours ahead, so I can say the future looks bright for them.


Delhi...OUT!!!

The Things that Make you Go "Hmmmm...?"

In preparation for the 2010 Goodwill Games, hosted by India and held in Delhi, the government has begun an expansive beautification and un-F-ification of New Delhi project, which includes:

• The addition and construction of roadways, overpasses and cloverleafs (pedestrians, bicycles, tuck-tucks, hand-bikes and wheelbarrows will still be permitted to run tandem to fast-moving cars, trucks and decorated dump trucks)
• The beautification of city streets and medians (to include the addition of shrubbery, the removal of standing pools of "stink-water" that attract malaria-laden mosquitoes, and the insistence that citizens quit being run over by large buses b/c carcasses always stain and carcass removal is very expensive)
• the addition of street signs (b/c up until now, Delhi's citizens were required to arrive at any destination only after hours of trial and error)

Julie and I, after seconds of discussion, also propose the following "improvements" before the Goodwill Games commence:

• All citizens must refrain from urinating and defecating on the roadside of major thoroughfares and travel ways (side streets and alleyways will now be used for this purpose, or at least more so) (this law applies to males and females equally, if only to avoid a charge of sexism)
• All citizens must refrain from exposing their "junk" on the roadside of major thoroughfares and travel ways (while this problem will likely be addressed with the elimination of urination and defecation (see above), we think it important to address it separately - we'd hate to think a citizen were able to find a loophole when it comes to something like this)
• Perhaps finally (at least for now), we suggest that police officers quit holding hands (while male-male hand-holding is nothing unusual in India - and we're certainly not judging - we just think that two grown men, sworn to uphold the law and protect the citizenry, should carry themselves with a certain amount of gravitas and professionalism...they can hold hands all they like "off the clock")

Delhi...OUT!!!

Same, Same...

A real buzz-kill for any "blogger" is routine. Life here is now as life was in D.C...usual. This is nice, but it doesn't make for an interesting blog, does it? Rhetorical, but in case you actually didn't know the answer...it's NO. It does not make for an interesting blog.

I suppose though, just as you'll never step twice into the same river (thanks, Heraclitus), even the usual life is never truly the same as it was a moment before. We've been busy...I, with work and more work and official visits and looking cool, and Julie/the kids with a recent trip back to the U.S.of.A.

India is now, for all intents and purposes, home. This fact is only occasionally depressing. We do enjoy India, except when we don't. It was the same in D.C., though, and I imagine it's the same for everyone, everywhere (except for John Henderson in Cleveland, Ohio...I hear he just loves it, all the time!) We're settled and comfortable (except when we're not - 120 Degrees, 120 % Humidity... this combination may actually only be possible here in Delhi). We've stumbled across routine...have identified our favorite restaurants, have identified which restaurants we'll never go to again (having once been a 'favorite'), have identified, for the most part, what activities to do when based on the kids' moods, our moods, the traffic, the heat and the typical small aggravations that come with doing most anything here in Delhi.

We're planning a vacation for October...a secretive, awesome vacation somewhere secretive and awesome. Frankly, I need to get out of Delhi. In the meantime, we'll try to hop down to Agra, snap a picture in front of the Taj Mahal...check that box. Word is, that's what the Taj visit is, a photo op, nothing more. A very important photo op, however, so we'll make the journey and strike a pose in front of one of the seven wonders of the world (assuming they haven't revised the list...replaced the Taj with something a tad more "wondrous"...after all, the Taj is just one really big coffin). Anywho, when the trip is said and done, we'll be sure to post pictures.

Olivia and Eli are back to school and they're both very excited. Olivia has started 1st grade. 1st...fricking...grade. She's losing teeth left and right (and not b/c of Eli). She's growing and learning and everyday she's more beautiful (takes after Julie, thankfully...or not, we'll see when she's in high school). Eli is, essentially, The Man. Not the oppressive "Man," mind you, but THE Man. He's developing quite the personality, has been for some time...so maybe it's better said he's honing it to a fine point.

Alise has sprouted two full-on, honest-to-goodness, bottom teeth, and one tooth has popped along the top. She crawls around the house drooling, like a miniature Saint Bernard. She's pretty quick now and knows just where to go, just what to do, to scare us shitless, when an opportunity presents itself. Like her siblings, Alise too is a mischievous sprite...we're pretty certain she knows exactly what she's doing and will often flash us a wicked grin as we bound toward her, yelling "Alise, get down...Alise, get that out of your mouth...Alise, please quit trying to re-wire that socket." She can stand now, balance all by herself...but she's not walking. She'll stand for a moment and then return to a kimchee squat, a genetic gift.

Proud Parent diatribe has concluded.

Well...completely unsatisfied, huh? Like you just ate Tofu? Waiting all this time for an update and this is what I write? Really? Really?!?!

Yep. Afraid so.

Delhi...OUT!!!

-- Place Julie's Blog Here --

Why has there been a delay in reporting, you ask? Why have our fans had to wait so long? well, let me tell you...

So, I says to Julie..."Julie," I says, "the people want to hear from you, they want your perspective, they want your thoughts, your words, your wisdom"...so she said. . . ."Sure, Owen, I'll get right on that between getting the kids ready for summer school, entertaining Alise, picking the kids up from summer school, feeding them lunch, working, getting dinner ready, feeding the family dinner, cleaning up after dinner, getting the kids bathed, putting the kids to bed, doing four more hours of really stupid work because my boss sucks. . . sure, I'll get right on that blog entry." So then I says, "Blah, blah, blah...write, woman, write!!!!"

So, here I am writing the most recent blog entry, the long-awaited blog entry, the newest from Tales Turner. We've been living life, nothing spectacular to report, nothing earth-shattering.

I was in Chennai for work in early June...it was like Delhi, only farther south and a touch quieter. Chennai, formerly known as Madras, is on the southeast coast of India, on the Bay of Bengal, and is known for its stretch of beach...the world's longest. In addition to being the world's longest, it is also the world's dirtiest and the most depressing. Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio, upon seeing this beach, would throw their respective hands to the air in exasperation and concede defeat with "To Hell with it all!" They would then drive off in a Hummer, spraying Hair Net out the window, on their way to a Baby Seal Clubbing event. So, no, I didn't spend much time at the beach. Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave, Julie carted Olivia and Eli off to summer school every morning, giving herself three hours of quiet everyday. It's never fun spending time apart, so I was thankful to get home after three weeks.

Olivia and Eli have continued their summer school...Olivia has become quite the swimmer and is becoming a math-whiz, like her mom. Alise is speed-crawling and starting to cruise...she's also sporting two new teeth. Eli's artwork is worthy of accolades and he recently shaved his head like daddy...for an entirely different reason, though...he isn't balding (yet). It's just sooooo damn hot here...122 Degrees this weekend, in the shade. I wish I were exaggerating. Needless to say, Julie and the kids are looking forward to their trip back to the States this next week, looking forward to the 90-Degree heat....sweet relief.

All is well here in Delhi. Julie and I had a fancy Kashmiri dinner last night with some fancy people. It also came with a fancy price tag. It was an experience though, and experiences are worth it. The kids, though really looking forward to seeing Grammie/Poppy & Grandma/Grandpa, are settled in well here. They have their favorite things to do, they know the routes to all the malls, to all the markets and they're still amazed by the numerous wandering Brahma Bulls and Marauding Monkeys.

No recent travel outside of Delhi (not counting the day-trip to Sohna where we visited some friends at a Resort & Spa - by some stroke of luck they'd received an upgrade to the Presidential Suite, complete with it's own pool. It was SICK (which the hip kids tell me means "Rad.")).

So, anywho...not much left to update. We're presently mourning the loss of Michael Jackson or at least the Michael Jackson we remember from the 80s and early 90s, before he went really batshit. I remember roller skating at Skate Town to Thriller and Bad...I remember watching his videos on MTV. I also remember listening to the Jackson Five classics on the radio...I suppose most people have the same or similar memories. Shame his talent was overshadowed by the life that became a freakshow-roadshow. R.I.P. Michael Jackson. I know celebrities usually go in 3's...I'm really hoping Swayze toughs it out as long as possible. I'm not sure the 80s/90s can take another hit. Sure, there's The Outsiders, Red Dawn, Ghost....classics. What about Roadhouse, Next of Kin and Black Dog?!? Okay, not Black Dog or the one where he dressed in drag...but definitely Roadhouse and Next of Kin...remember Liam Neeson in Next of Kin? Awesome!

Anywho... I apologize if we've been kinda quiet...and I apologize in advance if nothing new comes for a bit after this. With Julie and the kids in the States, the next blog might read, "Woke. Worked. Worked-out. Wept. Went to bed." Repeat. Don't pity me though...don't. At least I'll have this ratty street dog to look after while they're away...ughhh.

Delhi...OUT!!!!

Prima Donna

Someday, perhaps someday, our Olivia will be dancing at the Met...or its equivalent in Paris, London or Moscow (I'm new to the world of Ballet). Last night was maybe the first of many nights...we fought Olivia into her tu-tu (performance anxiety), Olivia's hair was done, we gussied ourselves up, I fetched the post-recital flowers and we were off to the Ballet!
Julie had to drag Olivia into the auditorium kicking and screaming (I was the "driver"). Once inside, Julie and Olivia bumped into Eva and Carolina, our friends from Rishikesh. Olivia looks up to Carolina, and so together with Carolina, and the application of mass amounts of make-up, Olivia struck up the courage to dance across the stage.

We filmed the recital, so if we can figure it we'll post some footage here. Olivia was brilliant, and that's just not a father's exaggeration. Her teacher and on-lookers have said "Olivia is frickin' amazing and will someday be THE Prima Ballerina!" (In so many words) Seriously, she was awesome and she danced with the biggest smile on her face. Olivia danced so well that Eli actually sat still to watch his big sister...that says quite alot. Eli is 3 years-old...he sits still for no one! I told Julie that, so long as Olivia wants to continue with ballet, then she'll have the "funding" to do so. Translation: I may be asking for sizeable loans from friends/family in the near future (kidding).

You can check out her ballet troupe here: http://www.ifbc.org.in/

Delhi...OUT!!!